Sunday, November 23, 2008

What would you do?

So with this love and logic parenting he goes in his room when he's behaving poorly and is allowed to come out when he's ready to be sweet... I get that and 99% of the time it works out fine for us.

But as I sit here and type this, Deacon is in his room throwing things, hitting things and just being overly aggressive and nasty...

So for now I'm ignoring it because I'm pretty sure most of the stuff in his room is kid safe... but part of me wonders if I should just go in there and take away everything he's throwing- with the premise of letting him know that when he's ready to start taking care of his toys he can have them back.

Oh how I love 3 year old temper tantrums... at 7:30 a.m.

... and all because I was talking on the phone with Grandma and it wasn't his turn to talk.

4 comments:

T- said...

I hate those temper tantrums. I think you did the right thing!

In the Kitchen with Dawn said...

The whole L&L philosophy is to let natural consequences teach the lesson. So you have to ask yourself "what is the natural consequence of throwing things around his room?" I would say that taking those things away and he can earn them back later OR having him clean up his mess once he's done with his tantrum. Either one is a natural consequence IMO.

Amanda said...

Dawn- I was thinking something similar.

Hi. I'm, Maddy. And you are? said...

Hmmm...i'm not sure I agree with sending them to their room. Especially if that is where they sleep at night. I think it just sends a really negative vibe that "his room" is a "bad place". We tend to do it a little differently (and their Montessori school does this a lot). Instead of banishing them to a chair to sit alone or to another room, you find a spot to put them where they can still see you or just sit them down next to you. I guess essentially it's a time out, but it doesn't feel so "you are abandoning me". I think when kids strike out and tantrum (God knows we have enough in our house! LOL!) it's more because they either can't communicate, need attention, etc. So, we usually sit them on a chair in the kitchen and then just putz around the area for a few minutes, set the timer on the oven, and explain to them why they are sitting there - "You are being put on this chair because you hit Mommy" or "You are being put on this chair because Mommy asked you to stop using your whiny voice" or whatever. Then when the timer goes off, we explain to them once again why they sat on the chair. If they threw something or hit a sibling, they have to give them a hug and a kiss (I usually ask them to apologize, but when they were younger I would ask them to take care of the boo boo on their sibling because they didn't get the concept of "sorry". You know, the empathy card ;) ). That seems to diffuse a 30 minute tantrum and it usually only lasts a minute or two.

Hang in there mama!!!